Originally Posted by ladyscribbler

Normal drinkers don't have near-death experiences due to alcohol.

I'll add a couple to that list.

-You go without a phone for 8 months but still manage to make it to the bar/liquor store every day.

-You marry your aunt to prove that you're a responsible adult.

-You spend a year of your life and thousands in legal fees to fight for your right to drink while caring for your child.

-You've been banned from every drinking establishment within walking distance of your home.

-The grossest dive bar in town starts charging a cover charge to keep you out.

-You lose control of your bladder/bowels 1-2 times a week and blame it on pets.