Can somebody please confirm
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 296
Can somebody please confirm
Just for clarity sake. I need people re-affirming this. Not just my mum!!!
He's an alcoholic when:
-In his teens his folks would have to come pick him up because he'd get too drunk at parties
-His mates would bring sodas to parties to keep him away from booze
-Every relationship he's had ended because of booze
-He's had two DUI' S
-He's had possibly 3 drunk & disorderly charges. I'm positive about 2 of them.
-He's passed out on the floor, probably more than once.
-He's been pulled out of a river
-he has a history of injuries from drinking
-myself and my neighbours had to call the cops on him due to his aggressive, drunken behaviour
-In the few months I put up with his active drinking he came home drunk most Saturdays, didn't come home one night at all, possibly got hit by a car
-he lost his marriage, home, idyllic beach lifestyle and being a full time dad because of his drinking
-he chose alcohol over having his family back
-he briefly did AA after losing kids, but as soon as parenting order was signed he quit cos now he has a handle on his drinking.
-He's still getting drunk
He's an alcoholic when:
-In his teens his folks would have to come pick him up because he'd get too drunk at parties
-His mates would bring sodas to parties to keep him away from booze
-Every relationship he's had ended because of booze
-He's had two DUI' S
-He's had possibly 3 drunk & disorderly charges. I'm positive about 2 of them.
-He's passed out on the floor, probably more than once.
-He's been pulled out of a river
-he has a history of injuries from drinking
-myself and my neighbours had to call the cops on him due to his aggressive, drunken behaviour
-In the few months I put up with his active drinking he came home drunk most Saturdays, didn't come home one night at all, possibly got hit by a car
-he lost his marriage, home, idyllic beach lifestyle and being a full time dad because of his drinking
-he chose alcohol over having his family back
-he briefly did AA after losing kids, but as soon as parenting order was signed he quit cos now he has a handle on his drinking.
-He's still getting drunk
There are no hard and fast rules, but that sure sounds like an alcoholic to me.
I assume that this is someone that you are romantically involved with. The real question is: given all the evidence that he is an alcoholic who appears to have no desire to quit drinking, do you really want to invite the consequences of his choices into your life?
I assume that this is someone that you are romantically involved with. The real question is: given all the evidence that he is an alcoholic who appears to have no desire to quit drinking, do you really want to invite the consequences of his choices into your life?
Normal drinkers don't have near-death experiences due to alcohol.
I'll add a couple to that list.
-You go without a phone for 8 months but still manage to make it to the bar/liquor store every day.
-You marry your aunt to prove that you're a responsible adult.
-You spend a year of your life and thousands in legal fees to fight for your right to drink while caring for your child.
-You've been banned from every drinking establishment within walking distance of your home.
-The grossest dive bar in town starts charging a cover charge to keep you out.
-You lose control of your bladder/bowels 1-2 times a week and blame it on pets.
I'll add a couple to that list.
-You go without a phone for 8 months but still manage to make it to the bar/liquor store every day.
-You marry your aunt to prove that you're a responsible adult.
-You spend a year of your life and thousands in legal fees to fight for your right to drink while caring for your child.
-You've been banned from every drinking establishment within walking distance of your home.
-The grossest dive bar in town starts charging a cover charge to keep you out.
-You lose control of your bladder/bowels 1-2 times a week and blame it on pets.
There are no hard and fast rules, but that sure sounds like an alcoholic to me.
I assume that this is someone that you are romantically involved with. The real question is: given all the evidence that he is an alcoholic who appears to have no desire to quit drinking, do you really want to invite the consequences of his choices into your life?
I assume that this is someone that you are romantically involved with. The real question is: given all the evidence that he is an alcoholic who appears to have no desire to quit drinking, do you really want to invite the consequences of his choices into your life?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 296
Don't worry..we're separated
Just for clarity sake. I need people re-affirming this. Not just my mum!!!
He's an alcoholic when:
-In his teens his folks would have to come pick him up because he'd get too drunk at parties
-His mates would bring sodas to parties to keep him away from booze
-Every relationship he's had ended because of booze
-He's had two DUI' S
-He's had possibly 3 drunk & disorderly charges. I'm positive about 2 of them.
-He's passed out on the floor, probably more than once.
-He's been pulled out of a river
-he has a history of injuries from drinking
-myself and my neighbours had to call the cops on him due to his aggressive, drunken behaviour
-In the few months I put up with his active drinking he came home drunk most Saturdays, didn't come home one night at all, possibly got hit by a car
-he lost his marriage, home, idyllic beach lifestyle and being a full time dad because of his drinking
-he chose alcohol over having his family back
-he briefly did AA after losing kids, but as soon as parenting order was signed he quit cos now he has a handle on his drinking.
-He's still getting drunk
He's an alcoholic when:
-In his teens his folks would have to come pick him up because he'd get too drunk at parties
-His mates would bring sodas to parties to keep him away from booze
-Every relationship he's had ended because of booze
-He's had two DUI' S
-He's had possibly 3 drunk & disorderly charges. I'm positive about 2 of them.
-He's passed out on the floor, probably more than once.
-He's been pulled out of a river
-he has a history of injuries from drinking
-myself and my neighbours had to call the cops on him due to his aggressive, drunken behaviour
-In the few months I put up with his active drinking he came home drunk most Saturdays, didn't come home one night at all, possibly got hit by a car
-he lost his marriage, home, idyllic beach lifestyle and being a full time dad because of his drinking
-he chose alcohol over having his family back
-he briefly did AA after losing kids, but as soon as parenting order was signed he quit cos now he has a handle on his drinking.
-He's still getting drunk
I know he's an alcoholic. I just have to keep reminding myself because I only see him sober these days and he's presenting such a 'I don't have a drinking problem' facade that I NEED confirmation.
SR has become my source of truth.
Thanks.. Today I just needed reminding.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 296
Normal drinkers don't have near-death experiences due to alcohol.
I'll add a couple to that list.
-You go without a phone for 8 months but still manage to make it to the bar/liquor store every day.
-You marry your aunt to prove that you're a responsible adult.
-You spend a year of your life and thousands in legal fees to fight for your right to drink while caring for your child.
-You've been banned from every drinking establishment within walking distance of your home.
-The grossest dive bar in town starts charging a cover charge to keep you out.
-You lose control of your bladder/bowels 1-2 times a week and blame it on pets.
I'll add a couple to that list.
-You go without a phone for 8 months but still manage to make it to the bar/liquor store every day.
-You marry your aunt to prove that you're a responsible adult.
-You spend a year of your life and thousands in legal fees to fight for your right to drink while caring for your child.
-You've been banned from every drinking establishment within walking distance of your home.
-The grossest dive bar in town starts charging a cover charge to keep you out.
-You lose control of your bladder/bowels 1-2 times a week and blame it on pets.
Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 223
I hear you. It’s only been a few visits but mine is acting like everything has always been fine and trying to be charming etc. And you just think “is this person really out to lunch like I was sure of last week?” Yes, he is.
If they weren’t capable of acting like normal people on occasion and/or for short bursts, we wouldn’t have any of us gotten involved. It’s real. It’s bad. Just because he isn’t falling over today doesn’t mean it wasn’t him or wasn’t completely intolerable.
If they weren’t capable of acting like normal people on occasion and/or for short bursts, we wouldn’t have any of us gotten involved. It’s real. It’s bad. Just because he isn’t falling over today doesn’t mean it wasn’t him or wasn’t completely intolerable.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 296
I hear you. It’s only been a few visits but mine is acting like everything has always been fine and trying to be charming etc. And you just think “is this person really out to lunch like I was sure of last week?” Yes, he is.
If they weren’t capable of acting like normal people on occasion and/or for short bursts, we wouldn’t have any of us gotten involved. It’s real. It’s bad. Just because he isn’t falling over today doesn’t mean it wasn’t him or wasn’t completely intolerable.
If they weren’t capable of acting like normal people on occasion and/or for short bursts, we wouldn’t have any of us gotten involved. It’s real. It’s bad. Just because he isn’t falling over today doesn’t mean it wasn’t him or wasn’t completely intolerable.
We should have those 'singagrams', are they even a thing anymore? I could do with a daily Singagram dressed as a pyramid singing 🎶 he's in denial 🎶
I'd say any one of your list would be a red flag. That his own peers try to keep him from drinking is especially telling.
I know he's an alcoholic. I just have to keep reminding myself because I only see him sober these days and he's presenting such a 'I don't have a drinking problem' facade that I NEED confirmation.
SR has become my source of truth.
Thanks.. Today I just needed reminding.
SR has become my source of truth.
Thanks.. Today I just needed reminding.
14+ years sober and im still an alcoholic.
just not an active alcoholic.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)