Normal drinkers don't have near-death experiences due to alcohol.
I'll add a couple to that list.
-You go without a phone for 8 months but still manage to make it to the bar/liquor store every day.
-You marry your aunt to prove that you're a responsible adult.
-You spend a year of your life and thousands in legal fees to fight for your right to drink while caring for your child.
-You've been banned from every drinking establishment within walking distance of your home.
-The grossest dive bar in town starts charging a cover charge to keep you out.
-You lose control of your bladder/bowels 1-2 times a week and blame it on pets.