Originally Posted by
Briansy 
Thank you very much for this. Yes, I think you're right. I need the support of other alcoholics is the reality. And reading those books is at least keeping focused on the goal as opposed to just winging it. There was a time where I put a larfle amount of work into it last August before it fell apart - I just need to understand that just because I get a month or 3 or 6 under my belt doesn't mean I'll be in the clear. Challenges and frustrations will present themselves
Yeah, basically it’s this: you start with the fact that you don’t drink. Then, job frustrations happen, heartbreak happens, financial losses happen, loneliness, emotional pain, reactive anger, feelings of boredom, they all happen: but you don’t drink. The addiction comes calling....and calling..
Celebrations, friends, parties, gatherings, bbq’s, holidays, they all happen. But you don’t drink.
You started everything with “I don’t drink,” so the emotions, the losses, the celebrations and the cravings, must yield to that one big truth.
And the pain, the difficulty, the conflict, the craving, the desire for it, the wistfulness about your drinking past do not make you unique. They are expected. In all of us. You’ll get some really uncomfortable feelings, and some really compelling arguments to say **** it and drink. You must get past all this. The uncomfortable feelings will pass in time. The difficult parts of life are just life. And the drinking thoughts are lies.
If you start with “I don’t drink,” then you are forced to come up with ways to distract, to cope, to soothe, to regain peace, to garner excitement, to keep motivation...life has to take its place. There is no other choice, so you have to do this, you have to come up with alternatives both big and small.
That’s the task of sobriety. My sobriety guides my life. I know everyone is sick of me saying this by now, but the people I see who relapse are not allowing sobriety to lead their life. They are letting depression lead, or hopelessness and regret; or craving and wishing for the past lead the way, or they are letting it sneak in and lead for a moment, and then the moment becomes a fateful one. If sobriety leads at all times, with all situations, with all people, at all hours of your day and night: there is no room to decide to drink.