Originally Posted by
Sohard 
My family (mom, sister, brother-in-law, etc.) are all wine drinkers. I’m not going to drink, but I miss sitting around and drinking with them when we are all together. As everyone gets a nice wine buzz, I’m such a sober bore. I don’t laugh as much as I used to. I feel left out. I’m not as much fun (this isn’t in my head, it’s been confirmed). No one wants me to drink again (they can stop, after they go to bed I would always continued until I blacked out and passed out). I miss contributing to the fun. I really do. Again, I’m not going to drink. But I’m visit family for 2 weeks and it’s just not as fun anymore. I find myself going to bed at 8:30 instead of drinking and laughing with them until they used to go to bed at 10ish and I would keep going. I even liked zoning out in front of the tv with wine solo after they went to bed. I looked fwd to night. Now I just end the day. It’s strange.
It’s an entirely different way of living life. I know exactly what you’re saying. Sobriety means feeling uncomfortable for a long time. Once the cravings lessen and drinking becomes unimportant in your life, you’ll find you laugh easier, you start joking with people again, you’ll have a quick smile once more. It will feel like before. I didn’t believe it would ever happen, I thought I’d be stiff as cardboard for an eternity.
But I relaxed once the cravings left me. The wanting it, the desire to drink in company, it feeds resentment and martyrdom and the mental work of it all; well, that really gets in the way of social enjoyment.
I can’t say when it got better...
Maybe about 14-18 months in? I had a great time at the boozy Xmas party sans booze this last Xmas...(15 months) but gritted my teeth through the first party, sat in my chair, didn’t mingle, didn’t talk at the first Xmas party (3 months in). My first summer vacation I moped and binged on sugar (8 months in) but this summer vacation (22 months in) I expect to have a fun time.
After a year it becomes almost exponentially better, which surprised me. Because when you’ve been sober a year you kinda feel like you’ll always feel that way, but no.....it keeps getting better.
Bulldog is at 3 years and he is making huge physical and fitness strides that I still struggle with a bit...I’ve seen others at 3 years make these same fitness strides so I too am waiting for more milestones in my own journey.
I’ve heard 5 years is awesome....that will be cool, looking forward to the five year mark also.
You will feel better with your family. How you feel now is not how you’ll feel forever.
You’re killing it, even it doesn’t feel like you are, we can see you nailing this thing.