Originally Posted by
Mango212 
I've met many people in various recovery situations. Al-Anon, Celebrate Recovery, rehab centers, open AA and NA groups, ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and other dysfunctional families).
Lots of good people affected by the disease of addiction and other issues. Some not good people affected by it, too.
I attended a group recovery meeting this morning for family members and walked away unsure of how I felt about it. In the first few minutes I had gut instincts screaming "get up and leave"! Healthy gut instincts, not the illness of having addiction in my family that used to keep me away from recovery and getting help.
I stayed. I trust in taking things one moment at a time. Now reflecting on it after lunch, retail therapy and a bit of time in nature, I'm seeing --- and more importantly feeling --- all kinds of red flags.
The good in this: seeing a toxic person who's organized and is leading a 'recovery' group that isn't recovering. The 'kindness', 'hospitality' and 'caring' were not genuine. It felt off. Fake. Crafted.
Good: I believe my instincts.
Good: I have genuine recovery groups that may look like many things. Messy, real and authentic.
It may be weird to see that first part as good, yet it helps me trust my instincts and redirect to really good healthy things in life.
Yes, Mango. Perhaps you didn't leave out of politeness? And you knew it was time-limited? Good for you. You saw red flags and kept your boundaries.
I married a fabulous person. I am proud of that. And our lives have been affected by alcohol. I can't be a passenger on that bus. I am keeping my boundaries and that is why the cracks in our marriage are deepening.
I am also proud of that in a way...that I am staying true to who I am and won't keep bending and twisting to fit in.
if acquaintances expected me to change, I would keep my distance, but still be friendly when I saw them. But I wouldn't be telling them my deepest secrets.
I am who I am. In the words of someone wise: "be yourself, everyone else is taken".