Wombaticus…..in recovery circles, one learns about "staying on your side of the street"....and a connecting principle of "avoid taking other people's inventory"......this, in itself, will cut down on bad mouthing others.....lol...
However...I do think acknowledging how others may have hurt you...when talking to understanding others, is not a bad thing. I am talking about people in your own intimate circle, who care about your welfare....people who "have a need to know".....
I don't think you are under obligation to be his community cheerleader...and, neither would you benefit from cutting him down in the public square....
In general, the more you focus on issues inside your own hoola hoop....the less you will be talking about him, in general....