I'm sorry that you're so low Purina. Day 3 is right smack dab in the middle of withdrawal - you're likely to feel all kinds of emotions and emotional responses
It helped me to realise that these extremes of mood were at least in part chemical reactions of my mind and body healing.
Thats not to say your worries and your pain isn't aren't real, but I'm sure you'll look at them at it all in a different light in a week or a month or six months.
I don;t think you're a runt or a loser or anything like that. On the contrary I've seen you be a great help to others here already
I'm sorry about your stock - I never got into that cos I knew I'd be obsessive about it.
I hope your stocks improve. I also hope court goes well.
If you need someone to talk to please do investigate this link - it has crisis lines and other helpful things
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ease-read.html
or if you really feel like you're a danger to yourself go to the ER maybe?
D