Eve, we have all felt the way you do now. Everything feels huge, unsolvable, wrecked. Just put down the drink. That is all you have to do now.
Don't focus on anything else. Get some sober days and then start looking at your problems one by one, solve what you can each day.
Little steps. But start with the one big step - pour out what you have in the house and start looking after yourself in a healthy way.
We are here for you. ((()))