Originally Posted by
eve123 
Thabks sammy ad Briana for responding. I find sr to be really helpful and I read daily Brian. 3 months since last lapse didn’t even last long one night so don’t know why it feel so bad
My last hangover was a little similar. I had plenty to drink, but no more than usual, or not much more, yet I felt just AWFUL the next day, versus my occasional, "Ok, that sucked, now let's power through this and work the crud outta my system." I felt full of some kind of green vapor of despair. (Not sure why it was green
) I think I was being permitted to feel the full ugliness of my addiction down in to the depths of my soul, and was being given a choice, once and for all: do I want to live like this the rest of my life, or do I want to Live my Life? Over the course of a few hours the choice became clearer, and when I finally decided, "I simply have to quit, and stay quit. I. Just. Can't. Drink." the despair lifted a bit. The shame and guilt receded over the following days. I don't feel like a completely new person compared to the one before that last binge, but I feel more protective of me now, and am learning day by day to appreciate the gift of life more than before.