Originally Posted by
Tetrax 
I'm good today, but last night was tough. I guess I was just wondering what people do when gripped in a severely depressed or anxious state (non-booze related)? For me I can't or almost don't want to reach out to anyone when in that place. Obviously I had an instant 'solution' in the past... Still very early in my recovery, this looks like it might be the biggest trigger I need to be careful of.
That's my trigger, too! Thank you for sharing this. I don't have a solution, myself, but reading that someone else has the exact same issue feels helpful to me and I know I won't forget it the next time that moment comes around for me. I pray right now that I handle it like you did.
For me it tends to hit after a couple weeks sober. I'll be eating right and feeling good, then someone will say something to contradict me or I react by feeling misunderstood and start building this whole victim narrative in my head. Then I point the blame and shame game at myself till I feel worthless, "then I might as well drink and smoke and get a little enjoyment out of life, because who cares what I do, and I don't blame 'em, either."
I'm sure pouring hundreds of gallons of a depressant into our bodies for years causes worse depressed episodes than we might otherwise have. I'm hoping this is something that gets less severe with longer-term sobriety, and would love to hear anyone else's take on it. I feel more grounded and optimistic talking to people who share that a lot of their problems never go away, but they do get easier to handle.