Actor Philip Seymour Hoffman died of an overdose after years of sobriety.
As a widow of an alcoholic, I was particularly alert to any signs of addiction when dating again. I gave a pass to a very nice fellow who had been sober over 30 years. I just wasn't going to take the chance again.
I am of the opinion that once someone has become addicted, the struggle to stay sober never, ever ends. I had a former colleague who dropped by to make amends to our boss for her drinking during her employment. I had no idea, in fact, she was sponsoring newbies in AA during the time she worked with us.
I was lonely after my husband's death. And bereft. I loved him, even though I had been planning to leave him. I had just decided I wasn't going down with the ship. That loneliness was awful, but it was nothing compared to coming home to someone who had lost his job, had few prospects of getting another one, had no incentive to look for one, and just didn't give a s--t about my feelings. There was a point during his addiction when I started to think about suicide, and that thought didn't scare me. Home was no longer a respite from the world. It was just a place with more rubbish to clean, more people to pick up after, where my AH, whom I loved (still do, in a way) had a kind word and time for everything except me. I understand now that he was powerless to change. He couldn't even try. But I should have gotten out way before I did. I was afraid to be alone, didn't know how I'd manage without him financially (well,at the end he wasn't working) or practically. He died, and I found out how to do those things. I miss the man I married, but he was gone years before he died.