I’d postpone if I were you. He drinks a lot and even if he is « high functioning » right now it will likely progress. Does he have addiction in his family? I knew my SIL was a drug addict (we ended up raising her kids) but never knew about my now ex in laws both being alcoholics. They didn’t really drink much anymore once I met them but the dad was a dry drunk.
Plus he may be drinking a lot more. I would drink wine with my ex and then he drank hard liquor on his own in the middle of the night because he was an insomniac.
The fact that he went for trying to drink in moderation and then went right aback to where he was would be a red flag for me.
What I learned also is that high functioning usually means they can keep up appearances and do well at work but that at home is usually where they stop functioning, at least emotionally.
My ex is a successful professional and overall a good person. I used to drink with him, a couple of glasses of wine every night. We stopped drinking at home a few years ago (mostly when we got the kids) but that didn’t stop him from drinking on the sneaks and it only got worse. He is clean now but it came too late for me. He really destroyed the relationship. 2 years earlier we probably would’ve survived but I hit rock bottom those last 2 years.
I would probably give it a year of being clean and sober and in true recovery (working a program). Until alcoholics truly understand that they can never touch alcohol again they will not stay sober. If you can check out Pleasure unwoven, it is a really good documentary about alcoholism.
Canceling your wedding sucks but if you are having doubts then don’t go through it, your concerns are very legit.
This is from web md btw, js to t because someone doesn’t gets sloshed each time he drinks doesn’t mean he does have a problem. Needing to drink every day is a red flag even if he doesn’t get drunk. And he may be drinking more than you think. It bothers you and eventually resentment will build and that’s when thing will get ugly.
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/...ng-alcoholic#1