Originally Posted by
Chrysene 
Hello: I am under some time pressure and seeking insight. Fiancé (40M) and I (39F) have been together 2 years, engaged 8 months, wedding is in 6 weeks. No kids. He stopped drinking for 7 months (when we got engaged), and started again two months ago.
I am am making the unfortunate decision of whether to 1) cancel or postpone the wedding; and 2) stay with him or leave.
The issue is that he is not an “alcoholic” by clinical definition, but abuses alcohol. He has 2-3 drinks every night on weekdays, and 4-8 on weekends, mostly wine, alternating with a glass of water. Never belligerent, doesn’t get wasted, no DUI, not passed out, basically no classic external signs.
He is fully functional, excels at his job (finance), does all the house errands (above and beyond), which I appreciate as I have a demanding job (lawyer), etc. All the strong qualities of a great husband. He admits there is a problem with drinking, never denies it.
Postpone! I ignored my instincts with my problem drinker boyfriend, then fiance, and now husband. The drinking only accelerated over time into full-blown alcoholism. He still functions at a job, can be very sweet and helpful, but is an unreliable partner. I also have 2 small children with him and now am reaching my limit of dealing with someone "in recovery" who keeps relapsing.
Your fiance is telling you he has an alcohol problem and you feel something isn't right. Trust your gut! It's easier to break it off now than later when your lives and finances are entangled.