joe801

I remember posting on this forum many years ago, but cannot remember my user account name or email used. Must've been at least eight years back when I posted and everything went very well until the last couple of years. I'll spare the full story but once again I slowly tapered and tomorrow will be the seventh day sober.

My drinking habit has progressively got worse and the last four to six months I realized my problem grew bigger and it affected my psychology more than ever before. I've never had any anxiety issues until recently and only had one panic attack in my life which happened three weeks ago. I could no longer go grocery shopping, I would simply pick up fast food which I've never enjoyed after gathering the courage to drink to the window. Even stopping by the convenience stores (daily rotation because of shame) was mental torture. Going to work and driving made me sweat and a nervous wreck, driving out of town for work I had my first panic attack and literally thought I was dying.

Hard to explain, it was like something was holding me back with fear to stop and buy a case, and something was literally forcing me to stop and buy a case, daily torture. I've never been a shy or timid person but lately, my courage and confidence just hit rock bottom.

I'm feeling good other than a little brain fog and of course the vivid dreams and nightmares that I remember from quitting last time and also the other "struggles that come along". The sleep is almost wonderful again, picking up groceries and cooking again which I burned through over the weekend, and the anxiety is gone.

I'm here again just to read and keep my mind straight and maybe help anyone I can. And I do not wish to go through this again and literally coward away, terrifying to think about.