Originally Posted by
Tommyh 
one more thing,resentment is not my number one offender today.....it used to be
my complanceity or laziness is, that leads me to resentment
I played with that one in my head for the better part of probably two years. I was taught (challenged?) to take things that I really disliked (and things I really liked, as well) and super-dig-into them, over time, take them into prayer, the whole deal. The idea is to continually try, to put myself in a position where all or at least most of my ideas are set aside and whatever truth might be there becomes apparent to me. Typically, the first dozen or more beliefs I have are quite biased, even though I'm not conscious of it at the time.
Complacence and laziness have been at or near the top of my list for a long time. You know, that list of defects that I just can't seem to overcome with much consistency. Also, they seem to be on that other list of defects I've continually asked, begged and even demanded God remove. Here again, I don't see much progress - well certainly not as much as I want (demand, think I NEED, believe I require to be happy?
).
Where I am with it now is looking to where the complacency and laziness stem from. And in that search, I keep landing on selfishness and a huge helping of self-centeredness. And that's definitely (I believe) not because Bill wrote that those are the root of our problem..... but they're just what I keep finding as the damn source for soooooo many of the things i find so unpleasant and ultimately painful in my life. What I tend to see though, is when I'm experiencing a this pain, and doing so over an extended period of time, I start to act out on others. You can bet your bottom dollar that in this state, mistrust and disrespect are starting to rise, I start to focus on differences, I start to really dislike a whole bunch of ppl - even hate some of em - and this is what I believe is the practice of resentment.
Man oh man, when I'm working those resentment muscles they grow strong amazingly quick. It's scary to me, how quickly I rocket off the spiritual beam and go right back into that old life in a spiritual void....... not drinking.... but living and practicing soooooo many of the most reprehensible parts of active addiction. I don't know I'd say the resentment was the source, but I do think that's the mechanism I employ that takes me out.