DayTrader

There are maybe a handful of statements in the AA book that I don't agree with BUT from the research I've done, Bill didn't necessarily agree with them either when he wrote them. Being a very smart man, and probably divinely guided in his writing, I do think that even if what I think is the truth really IS what Bill thought, had he written it the book would have been less effective in those sections. There are times where discretion and being inclusive is more important than trying to prove a point. -- a truth that I have a very difficult time practicing.

That one ^^^^ and the one that reads "...so our troubles, we think are of our own making. "

Man oh man did I believe those two sentences were COMPLETELY off target. I disagreed with them for oh........ probably two years and several trips through the steps. I couldn't pinpoint when exactly but I can say now I've yet to find one single instance where they've ever been wrong.

When I was new in recovery, I was still clinging to a gazillion "old ideas," old habits, old ways of thinking and processing the world as I saw it...... and those two lines in the book (and a lot of other ones to be frank) severely threatened how I'd thought and lived for the better part of 2 or 3 decades. I wasn't willing to really even consider if they were true and furthermore, any "investigation" I supposedly did into the possibility of those lines being accurate was severely clouded and influenced by my intense desire to be right. Based upon my actions, it would have been safe to say I would have much preferred to be right and miserable than wrong and then able to get free of some pain.

You don't "have" to agree with everything in the book Realest, just like one doesn't HAVE to go south in the winter if they want to avoid another northern winter. Both parties are perfectly able to stay where they are. I would suggest that maybe you ask God if those lines you resent so much are right...... or important..... and if there's anything in them He wants you to consider when they come into your consciousness.

Maybe this will help melt some of your contempt -

Was there ever a time where you were 100% convinced you could control your drinking....... but you were dead wrong and didn't know it?

Was there a time when you just knew you weren't going to drink again...... but did?

Was there ever a time when you were convinced someone thought about you in a certain way but later found out they thought quite the opposite of what you were originally so sure of?

If you're like me, all three of those questions will help you see now, today, that you've been utterly convinced of many things in your life - but over time you came to find out you were nowhere close to the truth. Now, being "wrong" doesn't make us dumb or stupid - we simply didn't have ALL the information / ALL the facts. We made decisions, based upon what little (and sometimes more-than-a-little) investigation we'd done and built a house of ideals on a very shaky foundation of sand. The Big Book refers to this as "delusion." I like to differentiate denial from delusion as this - denial is me continuing to believe something even though I know the "real" truth. With delusion, I don't even really see the facts as being contrary because I'm completely committed to believing in X no matter what the evidence to the contrary.

So.............. if I've been delusional in the past, isn't it possible I'm in some delusion even today? And if it's possible, gee, I wonder what those things are? Hmmm, well since I'm deluded, by definition I can't see them so maybe I should do what the program suggests and work the steps in THIS area of my life --- and you've seen in several of my posts how that's very simply done. And here's a really cool fact - you don't have to believe in things to do them. The steps ask us to consider things, then to do things, and take the process into prayer in an attempt to improve our conscious contact with a Power Greater than ourselves.... so you're able to take the second step consideration, make the choice we're asked to in the 2nd step, and even make the decision of the 3rd step as well as write the 4th step (which is a journey through our selfishness and self-centeredness) even without believing any of is is right.


Believe what you want but I'd encourage you to try and avoid digging your heels in on just about anything. You'd be surprised how many things you (and I... ) are convinced of today that will look like complete lunacy to us in a year or two as we gain more knowledge, understanding and experience.