How our brains evolved that way to depend on such an unreliable source of direction is hard to fathom, but here we are as alcoholics trying to make the most of it, which makes walking away from alcohol the challenge that it is. But it can be done.
This was also echoed by the acknowledgment of the lizard brain and its impulses, detachment from rational learning etc. I personally believe it is knowledge like this that forms at least the beginning of freedom.
And ‘just for today’ makes sense to me, but only if I am struggling. If not, ‘just never, along with all this good future planning’ makes sense too.
Thanks for asking how day 3 is. My health is coming back again, my calmness coming back again, and surrender is something I have already begun. It is the only way. My hope and belief is that daily practice plus time = full recovery. Whilst I understand the snake of temptation will perhaps always lie dormant, I don’t subscribe to the ‘lifelong disease’ model; not if you to the point where you are no longer dis-eased by it!
I had a low moment yesterday, in the shop buying lunch. Saw the alcohol aisle, and again had that ‘bite’, “well, you’ve ruined that now”. Only a few days out, cravings can happen, but I also know from experience that a few months out, I don’t get those anymore. They slowly turn to revulsion of alcohol.
I have started making a vision board of all the things I want to materialise in my life. Focusing on those, not focusing on not drinking, makes a lot of sense to me.
Thank you everyone for your contributions. Recovery seems to be such an individual thing that it never ceases to amaze me how different it is the things that finally work for people. But there are patterns, and I guess that is why we are here.
Am I good to leave the more ‘journal’ aspects in this thread? It will be great to be able to look back to post 1 after a while and see what people said and how things changed.