Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely
give themselves to this simple program.....They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty.
Knowing this from How It Works, it used to be easy for me to get judgmental of slippers. "Oh, they just didn't COMPLETELY surrender to the program," or "Yeah, he's just not willing to get honest with himself." I would judge others as less than, presume myself to be doing better, get a feeling of satisfaction, and think how lucky I was to be working a REAL program - not like thoooooose folks.
Who was sicker, the people who'd been relapsing but desperately looking for a solution but don't really know the truth or me sitting there playing God even though I knew better than to do it? O sure, I'd compleeeeetely given myself to the simple program - lol, right! How many times in just the past week did I sink into morbid reflection, revel in judgment, decide I was the solution to a problem and not consult the God of my choosing, believe it was ok to dislike and resent someone and so forth......... all the while thinking "well, at least I won't get drunk over this stuff." All those times I DIDN'T work the program in ways and places where I knew better. Look at how many times I didn't pause when irritated and take a moment to seek God. And then the capper - in the 17 or so hours I was awake yesterday.......just how many of those hours did I spend "seeking God" vs how many did I spend seeking self interest, self fulfillment, and selfish motives? ........... yet there I sit, proclaiming that I'm on the right path. Craziness......delusion!
I think it's possible that God presents us with people demonstrating behaviors that we ourselves are also guilty of...... my trouble with "those people" is usually that I see them doing things that I myself are doing - perhaps they're just doing it a liiiiittle differently but at the core, we're very similar.
Since my problems are of MY making (not others), and since it's been basically proven that I'm full of self-will run riot - though I don't usually think so - the challenge for me is to see how those people I'm guilty of judging are just like me and I'm just like them. Rather hypocritical of me to say I'm following God's path as I sit here judging others, thinking myself better than others, and thinking that I can try and assume God's role while at the same time considering myself a follower of God. When I look at things HONESTLY like that.... chances are those "slippers" are probably doing even better than me given all the things I know to do that I don't vs. them who may not know better and are doing the best they can with what they have.
Not everyone has wonderful sponsorship.....not everyone KNOWS the program well enough to talk about it. So....they talk about what they've been taught to talk about or what they understand. You know how many people with 2 months, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years of sobriety who say something at a meeting that makes me just cringe? But then I have to think back - wasn't I SAYING some goofy stuff at 1 month, 1 year, 5 years......and probably even today? Won't I likely learn and experience things during the coming year that help me realize that some of the thinking I have TODAY is off? Does that make me an idiot now? Of course not. Today I share what I know and what I have experience with - just like everyone else does. One of MY JOBS is to help those people, in a way that's attractive to THEM, to understand a little better. Am I and have I been doing my job.........or have I just been sitting back judging?