Welcome Charx
I really plugged myself in here - I really wanted what these folks had and I looked around for a way to stay sober that made sense to me. I understand the fear of getting sober and the even worse fear of not getting sober but support really does help.
Have you checked out the May support thread? All you have to do to join is post
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-one-8.html (Class of May 2019 Part One)