Originally Posted by August252015

Glad you are here and you have been sharing some increasingly aware stuff, and thoughtfulness just in your continued posts! That's brave - and part of the honesty starting with ourselves that IMO and IME is critical to our own sobriety.

My first thought to your OP was "Gosh, no." I never use the word gosh but that's what popped up! I wouldn't do it, couldn't accept that in my life, and I'm so grateful I don't have to - my now husband and I starting dating when we were both sober. Newly so, but still...

However, like folks have said- lots of people in relationships and marriages experience just what, or similar to, you are. My mom and dad sure did- and after 48 yrs and change of marriage and probably 35 of those involving my mom's active alcoholism, periods of sobriety, etc...my dad's about as close as a non-alcoholic can come to understanding.

Ultimately, they did want to stay married and both of them owning that each had a role but that only she could get and stay sober for herself was the critical point.

I would strongly suggest you add an Al Anon or other spouse of support method to your recovery plan, whatever it is.

Best to you and glad you are here.