It would be so easy to go back to saying okay let's just put this divorce off, then go back to status quo. I am just feeling like I am not strong enough to do all this.
You are strong enough, look how far you have come. It's not easy to go forward, it's scary because you don't know what the future holds for you. Now is the time to have faith.
You can always go back later......when he has sorted his s*** out, when you can rebuild your relationship and change the dynamic and you don't have to return to the status quo. Going back now, nothing will change. Alcohol will still hold the number one position in his heart. Try to remember it's alcohol talking, it's feeling threatened and will say and do anything to save itself.
AH got SO ANGRY
replace AH with ALCOHOL
He may say he is cooperating and make promises of voluntary payments etc but actions speak louder than words. Try to file the words but trust his actions. It's hard to separate the two in your head but if you can do that the situation becomes a lot less muddy.
Hang on in there.......