Caprice6

Thanks Dee, in the course of the years, I've been through between 100-200 withdrawal periods (including in patient week hospitalization). Most withdrawals I have done sober, but these days I am getting help, it's no fun.
Today, on my Day 2, I couldn't handle it anymore. The tremors were at an ultimate high, from head to toe, including impaired speech and chattering teeth, not to mention the irritability, agitation, anxiety, strained eyes, double vision, sweats, hot and cold flashes, unable to think or talk straight, insomnia, nightmares, rapid heat rate, restlessness etc.
I had to call my doctor and checked myself into day detox to seek medical assistance. I need to go back tomorrow. I feel more relieved and calmer as a result.
I've been consistently relapsing lately despite therapy, attending SMART group therapy and regular visits with my mental health doctor.
Went to a group job interview having drank cuz no way could I do it in withdrawal. I think it went bad, I felt annoying, hyperish, paranoid people knew, didn't answer questions as adequately or assertively as I would have had I been to my sober. I talked too much, fidgeted and sometimes made not much sense giving the worst examples. I would think the only reason I may not make the cut is not due to experience and skill, but rather having been just plain unlikable.
I didn't care at all yesterday nor today, until I went for treatment, and now am calmer having some relief, I am filled with regret most likely having messed up the whole interview.