I don't want to drink I truly want sobriety. I only have 3 days sober. I am terrified that I will drink just to drown out my feelings. My pain.
I just text my husband again begging him to love me. I know I am not healthy. I really wish I could put myself into a residential rehab but I can't. It is not possible. I need to keep my job and I have kids at home.
I am scared that I don't have enough self control.
I don't know what sobriety feels like, all I know is booze will make me feel better for at least a few hours then I will hate myself and life again in the morning. I hate this so much.
I can't even go to a meeting tonight because I have to take my youngest somewhere then I will have her with me the rest of the night.
I feel so lost and scared and alone