Originally Posted by
eve123 
Think I will have to look at my mental health as not sure if this is all alcoholism. But as I get some time start feeling better I go do it again. Insane the depressing thoughts of hopelessness and doom and gloom
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From personal experience, it was a lot more about my mental health than alcoholism. I'm definitely an alcoholic, but the underlying problems ( for me mostly Anxiety ) were more severe looking back.
Problem is, especially with anxiety, is that it gets worse when you quit drinking. Alcohol is a depressant, so when you quit drinking your anxiety rebounds with a vengeance. And it can take weeks, or even months for things to settle back down. For me personally, that was likely a contributing factor in the times that I quit for a while but started drinking again.
Only after I fully accepted that my mental health was indeed a distinct and separate problem that required treatment was I able to move forward. I did counseling and therapy, and even tried some meds which I'm now not using anymore either.
But most importantly, you have to stop drinking before any of those other problems can get better - especially anxiety and depression. Because alcohol messses with the parts of your brain that are associated with those conditions - and it also negates the effect of any psychiatric meds.