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Old 04-11-2019, 12:22 AM   #1 (permalink)
Sick n tired
 

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Well I failed think Iím hopeless


well after 5 weeks Iím back on day 4. It overwhelmed me drank sat night. Last few days usual depression anxiety etc. I thought Iíd got some ware but no just another fail. Going into day 5 AGAIN. Iím scared now seems like I canít get long term however I try. So busy so stressed think Iím just hopeless just want this cycle to end
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Old 04-11-2019, 12:45 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi eve, i know how you feel im on day 4 again too and i totally understand as i to feel so desperate at times like im stuck in a relentless cycle. But we keep trying so that got to mean we are not hopeless, it is hard but we are determined, lets keep going we can do it.
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Old 04-11-2019, 01:03 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Do the next right thing and just focus on staying sober for today.

Don't worry about tomorrow or long-term.

Then repeat.

Early days it's getting used to the journey, not thinking about final destination which seems far away and hard. It gets easier as the days build-really
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All the study in the world - and all the subjective hierarchies - won't get people sober. . .

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Old 04-11-2019, 01:38 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Thabks yes itís a never ending cycle think Iím getting someware them bam. Depression today thinking nobody likes me Iím a failure etc regrets self hate the same same as always. Maybe itís not the amcohol maybe itís me and I am just a pathetic woman mum friend I know iv been awful in my illness said things been neons selfish. Whatís point maybe I canít change
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Old 04-11-2019, 01:39 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Sorry you drank but glad youíre trying again. I relapsed twice but going strong now. You can do it. Rooting for you!
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Old 04-11-2019, 02:01 AM   #6 (permalink)
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One of the things that has given me encouragement is sobriety time success posts from other folks who did not succeed the first time. I really like seeing a 90 day post or a one year post. Then I look at their SR forum join date and see that they first showed up two or three or four years ago. Based on what I have seen it takes a lot of us multiple tries to finally succeed.

So in my view the key to success is to not quit trying to quit.

HummÖ that seems like a poorly written sentence doesn't it? Anyway I hope this helps.
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Old 04-11-2019, 02:07 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I am an introvert at heart, and when I'm having rough feelings I am tempted to dive into those with self-examination and critique, piled on with worry. When I started this recovery I just let myself be content with and was surprised that quite a few days had passed when I just focused on being well that day. Other aspects of changing waited until I had some time under my feet. Still, I have to be careful of interpreting myself alone and find the time to relax in being a sober person at the point I am today, still a new seeker.
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Old 04-11-2019, 02:44 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Itís not who you are that is holding you back, itís who you think you are not!

Stick with it, one day at a time xx
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Old 04-11-2019, 03:43 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Hi Eve

I don't think you're hopeless at all - but I do think you need a better plan than just trying not to drink.

I finally worked out that i had to ork on my recovery everyday - not just when I struggling.

The more alternatives you have to drinking, the more strategies you have for not drinking, the more support yo have to call on and use, the stronger your recovery will be

Have you read through this link? Its a good place to start
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html
D
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Old 04-11-2019, 05:34 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Five weeks is amazing when you think about it. The only real failure is when you quit trying.

Your post before this one, on the eve of five weeks, spoke of the gloom you felt. Your success will turn on your ability to cope with it. Treat it medically if its depression, seek out a spiritual solution if its despair. The solution won't be found in drinking.
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Old 04-11-2019, 06:46 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Think I will have to look at my mental health as not sure if this is all alcoholism. But as I get some time start feeling better I go do it again. Insane the depressing thoughts of hopelessness and doom and gloom
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Old 04-11-2019, 08:32 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Its been said many times, but I'll say it again....Don't ever stop trying. Ever.
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Old 04-11-2019, 08:38 AM   #13 (permalink)
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think of it as if your Recovery Plan is a boat. If you choose to drink again, then there's a hole or two in the boat. it is necessary to have a water-tight, sea worthy vessel to carry across the Sea of Sobriety. find those holes and patch them up.
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Old 04-11-2019, 08:51 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Have you ever watched a child learning to walk?

They shakily manage to pull themselves upright, swaying in all directions. Take maybe a step or two in a drunken sailor walk and then the inevitable...PLOP on the butt.

The baby doesn't beat themselves up saying what a miserable failure they are and how they will never get this walking thing down pat and they are hopeless. They just roll over onto their knees and give it another shot.

Give it another shot!

What is your plan to help you achieve sobriety? What are you going to do differently as part of your plan?

I needed help and support to achieve sobriety. Reach out for help. Be honest. Be open. Be willing. Help is all around and sobriety is achievable. The rewards are beyond mere words. You can do this!
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Old 04-11-2019, 09:14 AM   #15 (permalink)
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You are just fine Eve123. If you were sober the rest of your life except for drinking once every 5 weeks, you would be so much better off than drinking every day. I know that is not how it works with us folks, but I think you need to give yourself some credit. 5 weeks is absolutely amazing and something to be proud of. If you can do 5 weeks you can make it a permanent lifestyle change. Keep trying Eve123 and never give up. You can do it. This is a process. By stringing together some really great sober stretches you are letting your body and mind heal and setting the table nicely for a permanent change. Stay with us.
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Old 04-11-2019, 12:40 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eve123 View Post
Think I will have to look at my mental health as not sure if this is all alcoholism. But as I get some time start feeling better I go do it again. Insane the depressing thoughts of hopelessness and doom and gloom
'

From personal experience, it was a lot more about my mental health than alcoholism. I'm definitely an alcoholic, but the underlying problems ( for me mostly Anxiety ) were more severe looking back.

Problem is, especially with anxiety, is that it gets worse when you quit drinking. Alcohol is a depressant, so when you quit drinking your anxiety rebounds with a vengeance. And it can take weeks, or even months for things to settle back down. For me personally, that was likely a contributing factor in the times that I quit for a while but started drinking again.

Only after I fully accepted that my mental health was indeed a distinct and separate problem that required treatment was I able to move forward. I did counseling and therapy, and even tried some meds which I'm now not using anymore either.

But most importantly, you have to stop drinking before any of those other problems can get better - especially anxiety and depression. Because alcohol messses with the parts of your brain that are associated with those conditions - and it also negates the effect of any psychiatric meds.
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Old 04-11-2019, 01:03 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Keep working on your plan and posting here. I fell several times at the one and two month mark....butI kept working at it and got past it. You really do have to work on your sobriety every day like Dee said. Next time you are tempted or have cravings reach out here.
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