I can totally relate too. I hid it pretty well until I started having depression and anxiety related to my drinking. I went to AA a few times with a friend because she had a DUI and I wanted to support her. I sat there with a bottle of wine in my bag thinking I can totally relate to them. Everyone I was around drinks but they can have a few and be done. I noticed as I got more depressed I didn't like drinking with others and I couldn't have just a drink. I had to have 12. My kids can drive and I noticed I drank more when they started driving because I knew I could have them take me to the store for a "snack" but really I was buying more wine to last the night. On the weekends I would binge drink with the excuse that I didn't have to work. I was still a functioning mom, wife, team parent. I was diagnosed with diabetes 15 months ago and changed my life big time. Once I found an alcohol that I would tolerate and that wouldn't mess up my numbers I slipped back in to my old habits of drinking. Went for a follow up and the liver and functions were good. If I acted a little out of my normal around my husband or kids I would just blame it on my bg's numbers being a little off. My husband likes to drink but he only does it on special occasions and he can just have one and be fine. This past weekend I drank all day every day. Even had drinks on Monday night. I woke up feeling absolutely horrible and told myself I needed a chance. My life is just passing my by and I can't remember so many parts of it. I eat good, exercise, take my vitamins and am a diet controlled diabetic. I was only on meds for a couple months. I know for sure depression led me back to drinking a lot. I am so thankful that we can all support each other here. I was feeling so alone and I was the only other one struggling. I take a small amount of diazepam when I stop drinking because its not as bad. I also know that I cannot drink alcohol on this medicine. When I was doing good and not drinking for 5 months I was also going to therapy. That was awesome for awhile. Then I felt like I was saying the same thing at every session. I stopped going thinking I was doing good and could do it on my own. I couldn't....I need to constant support for sure.