Originally Posted by
Needabreak 
Ugh, this is where the cycle can lead to. You have written the words I quoted at the beginning of this post several times in the past, so hopefully you will live by them now.
Did you press charges against the ex for physically assaulting you? It's great that you have friends who could stay in your apartment to protect you thru the first week, but guys like your ex do not let go easily. Next time he is in need, you will still be in his mental roledex as a potential source of sustenance. If he assaulted you once he would do it again. Getting the authorities involved can sometimes be the only way to protect yourself against these types of people.
As you see now, we can sink very very very low into our codependence, and our delusions and addictions re: others. "Hitting one's bottom" doesn't only apply to addicts.
Hopefully this time turns out to be your bottom. But that is up to you.
This is one million percent my bottom. I never want to experience this type of abuse again. I think I'm the type of person who has to learn it for myself. I didn't press charges and I know I was advised to but from my learnings about narcissistic abuse ( which rightly or wrongly I believe he is) informs me he thrives on drama, which I know he does anyway, so I didn't want to feed it any further. However it would be different were it to happen again. I'm praying now he might leave the town I live in and return to England. Whatever happens I'm my no 1 priority now.