Originally Posted by
Needabreak 
No, I didn't write nor did I imply that you are equally responsible for letting this relationship get to this place. The gist of my post was that you are subordinating your needs and goals in a dysfunctional relationship to make your girlfriend happy, and she honestly doesn't give a fig about your needs or your happiness.
That makes sense. I did feel though that my post lacked a level of accountability.
Maudcat, I think a list is a great idea. I know that I thought she was someone and turned out to be someone entirely different. I actually think I look different due to the level of stress this has caused me.
With regards to setting boundaries, I've done pretty much what you've said. The problem is, when I have refused to come over, she accepts it but she's not ok with it. It doesn't really work if they don't actually respect the boundary. It triggers all kinds of insecurity in her that surfaces sooner than later.
She was barely gone for a day and was just rambling about how she missed me and was disappointed that I wasn't as expressive about missing her. I mean, we're talking maybe 7 hours apart from each other. How am I supposed to explain that I'm not capable of even feeling that emotion in that amount of time? She just texted me again now "I miss you. I've been talking about you a lot
" I don't know how you all view this, but it feels controlling and insecure to me. Again, this is less than a day into this trip. I am at a loss of even how to respond to this.