I've noticed that people have different attachment styles. I'm close to my children but there's no way I talk to them every day...it would drive all of us crazy. But I know of other families who talk to each other several times a day.
I would feel suffocated by the scenario you describe and, to be honest, I don't think either of you are going to feel comfortable with the other's style, no matter how hard you work on it.
Alcoholism just adds to the problem. If you learn anything here, understand that words count for nothing if there are no actions. My suggestion is to ignore what she says and only concentrate on what she does.