I really appreciate the insight. I'll certainly have a look at that book. I obviously have some issues that need sorting out to be putting up with this.
I have discussed the drinking with her many times. She has been more open about it lately and said that she's working on it. The amount of drinking has certainly come down, but the co-dependency has ratcheted up significantly. But like I said before, if given the opportunity, she will drink as much as she possibly can. When she's in that kind of state, she will drink until she passes out.
I know at this point that this will always be a problem with her. Her brother came to visit and his behavior is almost identical. There seems to be something genetic going on. Her mom is one of the most negative and whiny people you've ever met. I can see the toll it takes on her dad. He's basically given up on life. I know I'm heading for the same place if something doesn't change.
I guess I am too easily fooled by the improvements while the bigger picture remains very dark.