I am going to do what I must do to get free of this. If I can get through a few days without picking up a drink, and planning my days ahead without drink, then ok. maybe I dont need inpatient. I will seek a doctor after one week I think, and take things from there. So yes, if I cant stop I will lose everything anyway.
It is now 20:20 here - thanks for asking Broncosys. Been sleeping in little bits today, feel physically not good, got pains, aches and no energy. Dizzy spells, heart was pumping mad at one point when I layed down i could feel it so could not rest. But I at 03:00 tomorrow I can say I have 1 day. Started watching a video someone posted but it just making me more worried about my health and honestly I cannot concentrate much right now, so it is just like background noice. But I guess everyone goes through this. Really glad for this forum right now.