Canuck - Yes, I understand this now - I suppose I had an idea of what I maybe thought an alcoholic was, I did not associate my crazy behaviour, the bar-room lies, etc. etc. - until other people here say that they also do this. I suppose I thought it was maybe just trying to find why I did this and stop it. I'm not sure quite what I thought alcoholic was. I now understand that all this insanity is part of being alcoholic. I can accept this now. I am an alcoholic. But a little part of me is still saying 'really?' But yes, I am not going to shout this out, but I accept this now. The shame is not there. And I am now over 10 hours without a drink. I have pinned a piece of paper to the wall with the days until end of April. I will deal with each day and then draw a line to it, and add 1 to the total. I think it will help.