CupofJoe

I did use AA, but I also use elements from AVRT, SMART, therapy, yoga, another (now defunct) website similar to this, and meditation. I think it helped me a lot to have a lot of different approaches.

I feel for you. I guess my question is what do you do before you drink? What is going through your mind? Are you aware of it? Do you fight it? What happens?

For me, learning how to intervene between myself and the addiction, from letting it take over, was key. Everything else helped me get comfortable with sobriety, but it came down to how to avoid that first drink.

Posting a lot also helped me, especially helping people who were also struggling. Even when I was still hungover, posting encouragement to someone else in the same position helped enormously. It not only got me out of my head, but it helped me see myself in the other person. It helped me shift my perspective to see what alcohol was really doing to me.

If nothing else, I highly recommend posting to help and encourage other people. You might already do that, so apologies if you do, but that would be my first suggestion.

Sorry for the epic post. I really feel for you. I know how hard it is to struggle and to feel like you can't quit. I used to say the same thing. I am pulling for you.