I'll also say.. I just read through your thread history and **IF** you really want to get/stay sober..start there..by reading your past struggle..with the exact same 'problem'.. Start there.. Doesn't matter how much 'stuff' you half assed tried/blame for YOUR continued drinking..at the end of the day it's 100% on YOU...
That's what got me sober... Owning MY**** and working to help myself in anyway I could.. Once i got serious.