Thanks again everyone. What a welcoming place.
Today I'm at the point where I'm done. As I look back I'm so embarrassed at all my stupid behavior. I feel a lot of shame sitting here. Even though I haven't lost a job, gotten a DUI, etc., there absolutely have been major negative consequences. I want to be a better person and numbing myself with alcohol can't be part of the equation.
I'm doing a lot of reading on here and elsewhere and coming up with a plan. I found a book called the 30 day sobriety solution so I'm starting there. How I continue to develop my plan from there I'll have to figure out. For now, its day 2.