bexxed

My work sent me to a two day long meeting in another state (one I’d not spent time in before). The meeting was with “associates” and my role there was as a representative. The people there were heavy drinkers, as it turned out.

I just got back. I’m pretty exhausted but also so happy to be home, and I slept on the plane so I’m up for awhile, reflecting and winding down.

It’s been a long time since I got peer pressure like I did at this meeting. In fact, I may have never gotten it like this. At some point very early in the meeting someone made like the tenth reference to plans for drinking after the day one meeting, directed at me, (remember I’m the new person) and I spoke up to all seven people at the table and said “so full disclosure, I don’t drink, but I also won’t judge. I needed to just put that out there.” I couldn’t believe the responses. Aside from two people, the room turned to an uproar. “What?! Oh you mean for lent? Tell me it’s for lent and I can respect that but anything else and I’m gonna say we can’t work with you.” And more.

I thought it was so ridiculous that it didn’t bother me - in the sense that it certainly didn’t inspire any second thoughts. But it would have been really difficult in early sobriety. It made me rethink some of my posts here about social pressures. I’d never seen adults acting like this before. I had just met these people and wanted - needed - to make a good impression for work.

I’m glad I did the work of making sobriety the most important thing in my life. I want to amend my other posts to people over the past couple years. I’d said at least a few times that people don’t care, and while I still think that’s true, I saw that they really don’t always act that way. I heard commentary so many times for the rest of the two days about my not drinking. They never said “are you in recovery” but they did ask me if I didn’t drink because I didn’t like it, or if I ever had, did I have a medical condition, etc. Not in a gentle way, but in an adversarial way. They all knew each other and I had just met them.

They had their (hard) booze at dinner and kept telling me about the drinks at the hotel bar and how great they were. I gently reminded that I don’t drink after a few times. The response was unapologetic.

It pissed me off a little, frankly. I can’t believe that adults in a work setting really act like this. My future advice to people in early recovery trying to navigate these situations is hereonin “don’t go. Just don’t go.”