Iris....I thought you might appreciate to know of the following women...celebrities, who have talked openly about their own postpartum depression....these are just a few....they all talk about what it was like, for them. They all got through it....and are good mothers.....
They talk about thinking and feeling the very same things that you are going through....every single one....
Marie Osmond....Courtney Cox...Gweneth Paltrow....Brooke Shields....Vanessa Lachey…..Amanda Peet....Hayden Panettiere…..Alanis Morisette….Drew Barrymore....Lisa Rinna….Chrissy Teigen.....Adele.....Sarah Michelle Gellar...…
In particular.....Brooke Shields wrote a book called "Down Came The Rain"....
It brought a lot of attention to postpartum depression and what it was like, for her....
You can get it on amazon.com....a used copy can cost less than one dollar....plus the shipping cost.
You can, also, get it through your library......at no cost....
I just want you to know that you are not alone, or abnormal, or a badperson...it happens to a lot of women and it doesn't mean that they are bad mothers or that they don't love their babies...