Originally Posted by
Iris1 
Just waiting until someone watches him and then slip out and disappear.
You know, I bet when you think that you think, well that's crazy and they will think I'm crazy (guessing). Well it's not "crazy" and we don't and they (being your therapist or folks at the ER etc) won't think so either.
What you are experiencing is not that far fetched and you are absolutely not the first person to go through this and you won't be the last. So please stop judging yourself, if you are.
All of us need help sometimes, whether it's with children or relationships or just getting through the day. It's being human. Right now you have been given a situation which you admit (which is very brave btw) that you cannot deal with. That's ok. As the parent all you need to do is reach out for help, it's totally within your grasp.
Let's play this tape forward a bit. Let's say you call the ER or your therapist or grabbed an uber and went to either place today and told them what you feel, as dandylion mentioned. I imagine in your mind they all look at you in horror. That's actually not going to happen. I'm not a professional and even I wasn't shocked, at all. Yes, it is normal to be overwhelmed sometimes. If you need help now just ask. Think about how relieved you will be tomorrow if you ask for that help, or even later on today, you will have time to just take a deep breath and relax and sort everything out, time to heal.