Thanks AnvilheadII - I need to keep reminding myself of that.
she said she had a "horrible" day because her vape pen broke and her roommate was mean to her. I dropped off her yoga mat tonight and while she described that place as horrible it looked pretty nice to me from the outside (well kept, good neighborhood, near the bus route). She had to admit it was a nice neighborhood and said she was going to take the bus downtown tomorrow. I guess it can't be so bad.
And you are right - she does have all her needs met and if she wants more than what is provided, she'll need to start doing some work. I guess I need to keep remembering that just because she isn't happy doesn't mean she isn't in the best possible place for her at this time.
And another thing I am realizing I need to remember is that I don't deserve her criticism and anger. I think I've been the brunt of it for so long that I don't even fight it anymore, but it still hurts. So it is good not to put myself in the place where I have to deal with it.
She truly can't seem to stop herself from saying hurtful things to the very people who love her most. I guess that's part of the "stinking thinking" of the disease.
Anyway, thanks for all the support. I am going to continue practicing letting go with love until I get it right. I do sleep better when she's not in the house...