Hey Kaboom. Well done on the sobriety!! Massive achievement. Have you thought of AA? You could try to do an online meeting. You can remain anonymous, well that's the whole point. You don't need to utter a word if you don't like. I think you may benefit of mixing with others in recovery. I am NOT Christian AT ALL myself but found NA(for me) particularly important in my first couple of months. I am also early in sobriety 129 days so I know where you coming from. The connecting with others in recovery is SO IMPORTANT. You can even check out SMART online meetings if you don't want to do a face to face meeting. Just food for thought. I know you going through **** in your personal life ATM but drinking would make it far worse. You wanted sobriety you now have it. You need to nurture it like a fragile being. Everything will eventually start to fall to places. Strength to you!