In one of his many failed attempts to get his recovery off the ground we went to our family doc to discuss openly. she said eventually the alcohol would turn him mean...that it is a physiological response to the alcoholism. I didnt, honestly, believe it. mine was the mushy drunk after all. sentimental and emotional. all smiles. Eventually that did happen, that amazing doctor was right. Whether it happens to every alcoholic I cant say. But it certainly does seem like just a matter of time. And it also seems once the verbally abusive cat is out of the bag it never fully is the same. For us, because we remember the things they said. For them, because they never stop escalating, even if it's a slow ride.