Pathwaytofree

Thank you. It's not easy. But it's the root of my life long troubles.

Hmm I'm not sure about that. I think looking at myself in AA took more courage than to look at how my being an ACOA affected me. Maybe I'm misunderstanding? I don't go to ACOA meetings. I went to a couple about 20 years ago but it was too much truth for me at the time. I wasn't ready.

I'm not sure I understand.

Balance out our solution with this stuff? Again I'm sorry I'm not sure I understand. Do you mean somehow combining AA with ACOA? I've had treatment resistant depression for a long time but am doing the best I can.

In AA I was taught to not got deep into this sort of stuff, but just to look at my parents as "spiritually sick people who did the best they could with what they had" and to "forgive them, because God forgives them, and God forgives me, and He wants me to forgive them and to forgive myself". I was not allowed to say my alcoholism had anything to do with my being an ACOA, because that would mean I was blaming them. We had to be kind, loving, tolerant, and patient with our parents. Although someone here and there would say "but you don't put up with abuse."

But there seemed to be an unwritten rule that when you share or lead, you don't talk about your childhood or parents/family member in a bad light. Every so often, someone would say "My parent was an alcoholic" but would leave it at that. Fortunately I had/have therapy to help with those things and sort it all out. My former AA group made it way too black and white. Telling us we had wonderful families and should be grateful and to grow up. I guess that's what happens when the guy who starts the meeting didn't have alcoholic parents or an abusive home.

I posted these articles because they were helpful for me to read, and I hoped other people would find them helpful.