I can so identify effing up at work to drink and not even understanding why you're doing it. The good news is probably that what you were doing got you here and will hope you change your life. I have five days sober today and what I've been doing is posting here every day going to AA meetings and checking in with an outpatient facility. Oh yeah and eating. 😋. I have no bigger plans for my sobriety than just today. You can do this.