I quit and relapsed many times before it finally sunk in that I'm an all or nothing type smoker. I am an addict.
Yep, it took a long time for me to throw out all my smoking paraphernalia, to make that final commitment.
It's only when I made that final commitment did the AV leave the house. Still knocks on the door a couple times a year, but as long as I don't answer, it goes away. And I like it that way, makes life peaceful.
I've asked before and I'll keep asking. Have you thrown your paraphernalia away? Have you taken that next step?