Well I feel like quite the fool. But I will be open for the sake of accountability (which I need to work on badly)
There's a flaw with the Allan Carr last drink. Ok I'm not blaming his book/the method because if you are drinking daily then I guess you can plan ahead the last drink, which would come after consuming a lot maybe.
But I was a good few hours without taking anything and feeling half normal, so I probably tricked myself into taking a drink and smoking. And of course if I could leave it after one drink I wouldn't be in this situation. I briefly read over the last few weeks a thing or two about AV but I'm not fully informed on it. I don't know if that's the case here as I seem to be desperately wanting to quite and embrace sobriety, yet I keep finding one last reason or excuse and it happens quite sudden.
Ok the Allen Carr last drink, then ok one hour, then...well one thing is sure he is correct about the nature of addiction. You let that one demon and in and process starts again. Also he says make it a spirit and not your favorite. I now only drink spirits not mixed. I did actually feel rotten after the first but then I wanted another. This has been the problem, it takes me a second to act on the impulse.