I just read this interesting article about recent research on addiction. What struck me most is the anecdote about the program for repeat drunk drivers, and the claim that immediate consequences help addicts change their behavior, which is akin to what folks say here about maintaining one's boundaries.
I'm fairly confident that getting my XAH to do sobriety monitoring while he had custody of our kids helped him to reduce his boozing even if it added to his fury with me.
https://www.stanfordmag.org/contents...-your-brain-on