I appreciate the welcome messages from everyone. I’m in a really bad place and it seems to get worse every moment. It isn’t even about drinking. That’s not going to happen. In fact I’ve been out to bars more in the last 45 days than I have in a few years and there’s not even one part of me that has even wanted to drink. It’s the depression and loneliness that is destroying me now. I stopped the thing that was destroying my life only to have it get steadily worse. I’m so lost. I know I need to keep positive but I honestly don’t know how right now. Every minute feels like an eternity and it’s like my life is slipping away. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be.