Welcome to SR and congrats on making a decision to quit GettingReady. You will never regret making that decision, I can guarantee you that as a parent myself too. Albeit not a mom, but I drank to run away from my family for many years too. Looking back it was one of the most horrendously selfish things I could have ever done, but you don't really see it that way while you are drinking. You can't change what youve done, but you can change today - and i'm glad you are seeking positive change. Lots of good advice from others but I would add that "cutting back" or moderation simply is not an option for us - if you want to be sober, it has t be all or nothing.