I'm not an alcohol dependant mother with children, I'm a dad. Hope you find my input just as helpful.
You described me to a "T". Even your choice beverage. The rum and cokes. Same scenario. I do the cooking in my home and wife typically works nights. Work all day, get home and prepare dinner (I love to cook), get kids fed, kitchen cleaned, sipping, then drinking my c&c's. Kids to bed, raid the leftovers and eat way too much and finally passing out to a miserable nights sleep. Waking frequently anxious and heart racing. Get up the next morning just to start over not remembering where the last part of the evening went.
I can tell you this. You only think you don't feel that bad in the morning. I've had a few months sober and I realized how sick I really was.
I also realized that although I was there in the house cooking and taking care of my home and children, I wasn't really THERE. And they notice it. Especially when they got a taste of a sober dad. You become much more engaged in their day.
I'm not going to make comments on your plans to moderate, but just don't drink today.
If you make an honest list of the pros and cons of drinking, it will look a lot like mine I'm sure.
Pros: the initial buzz. Cons: everything else